Waiting

The other day I asked God to yell at me.  Give me a clear cut sign, show me what I am supposed to be doing.  Show me the path you want me and my family on.

I feel like I'm in limbo, just here, just waiting for that sign or answer.  It's an interesting place to be and a subject that has come up a lot this week. 

Women's bible study was all about the potter and the clay.  Who am I to yell at the potter and tell him what I am?

That tells me, even though I'm waiting, God is still watching. 

Is he just waiting for his right moment?  That  moment that will give him the most glory, or is he waiting to see what I'll do.  He knows already of course and he knows me. 

I am a perverse creature, sometimes I really like to take the long hard way.  I think I just get more satisfaction at the end, I feel like I've accomplished more somehow. 

However, I'm sick of it.  I am tired of the drama of it, I am tired of fighting for everything, I'm tired of banging my head against brick walls.  Oy. Vey. 

Why not just take the easy way and LISTEN to what God is telling me?

That's the hard part about waiting, I am and always have been very impatient.  My first inclination, if I'm not getting the answer I want, is to do whatever I want.  To go my way.  This is why I take the long hard road. 

So, maybe it's about what I do WITH the waiting time.

This song is the other reason that waiting has been at the forefront of my mind.  Every time I start to get impatient it just pops into my head. 

What am I going to do with my waiting time? 

I am going to worship, I am going to serve, I am going to OBEY what my Father is telling me and wait.  I am going to keep praying and keep reading my bible, keep doing those things that draw me closer to him, instead of giving up like I normally do. 

I WILL NOT FADE

Oh the things we've seen and it's only 8 in the morning

Well, if you want to be technical it's actually 830, but I couldn't resist the quote.  It has been a whirlwind day already and it is so early.  God just picked today and said, Stephenie, today is the day.

Okay, I'm listening.

First I heard "Forever Reign" twice this morning while I was getting ready.  It is such a fantastic song and I believe I've spoken about it before.  Ya know, in my loooooooong history of blogging.  Insert sarcasm here.

The riches of your love, will always be enough. 

The last couple of days that mean monkey (satan) has been trying to get back into my head.  Ugh.  Anyway, Jonathon is stressed about, well, what else, money.  Me having a baby and going on maternity leave, the kids being sick and fussy, having a place to live, etc.....  The list could go on forever and ever. 

But really, who wants that nonsense? 

Because he's stressed and off his game, I'm stressed too.  Yuck.  Then the kids are stressed because mommy and daddy are.  It's just a vicious cycle.

The riches of your love, will always be enough.

That's the line that hit me this morning.  Who cares about that other nonsense, I've got Jesus.  I am his BRIDE.  He wants more for me than I can ever imagine, I just have to get out of the way and let him do it. 

So, now I'm working on the surrender part. 

I read my devotion for the day and the very last verse strikes me, just reaches out and grabs hold.  It will not let go. 

Mark 7:37  They were completely amazed and said again and again, “Everything he does is wonderful. He even makes the deaf to hear and gives speech to those who cannot speak."

EVERYTHING HE DOES IS WONDERFUL!

That just bears repeating over and over, everything he does IS wonderful. 

I am being refined, I am being made into something precious and pure and fit for a king.  Everything that happens through that process is for his glory and it is wonderful.

The simple truth of that alone has me smiling and full of joy today.