I have refined you

Isaiah 48:10 says "I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction."

There was a revival at my church this weekend and the evangelist, Pastor Rick Bonfim, pounded this into our heads.  I think it means something different for everyone but for me it marked a turning point.  In a very good way.

It all started Friday night, the worship was off the hook, then we sang some old hymns, then Rick preached.  He had an altar call at the beginning and the end of the service.  There are not even words to express the atmosphere in the church.  During the altar call, Bob the Intern prayed over Jonathon and I, he prayed things there was no way he could have known, had God not spoken to him.  Which was amazing all by itself. 

Then Rick came over, he didn't pray over us, he prayed over me, he made Jonathon put his hand on my belly and then Rick put his hand on my head and made me breathe deep.  He literally prayed Satan out of me.  There is no other way to describe it, he prayed that God would make me realize that I'm his and the devil CANNOT have me, not now, not ever. 

There is no struggle, God wins.

And he just kept doing it.

Saturday night we had a prayer tunnel, 20 different people prayed over me that night.  It was beautiful, God was there.  GUMP (our praise band), sang most of the songs in their repetoire that night, all of us were like groupies, standing at the front of the sanctuary dancing and praising through it all. 

But the part that got me was Jonathon. 

See about a year ago I couldn't get my husband to church.  I shamelessly used our son performing with the other kids on Palm Sunday to get him there.  Then he came back on Easter Sunday and his life was changed. Now, I couldn't get the man away from the church if I wanted to.  But the changes in him are just amazing.

Saturday night he went up and relieved people in the prayer tunnel so they could take a turn going through as well.  I had every intention of doing this but when he went up there I fell back into my chair, sobbing, praying, and praising God.  I am so richly blessed.

One of the things Rick said that night was that angels of the Lord are camped around those who fear him.  I imagine all of these angels standing in an impenetrable circle around me, it's beautiful.

Jonathon may not have a job, we may not have a home, or much else materially.  But we have eachother and a relationship built on a foundation that cannot ever be shaken, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will provide.

Sunday was bittersweet.  The end of this revival brought me sadness, I wish it could go on forever, but I am so full of joy that I just want to dance. The sermon was about having faith, about how our faith moves the heart of God, about what God wants for us.  That day I was told that God loves me, is blessed by me, is proud of me, and he wants me to overcome.  I believe it with my whole heart. 

See I had let Satan take a stronghold in my life.  I let him use my family, my past, and our current situation against me.

He has now been told that he can't have me and I will not let him.  I see him for what he is, a monkey flinging his own crap.  He's not going to hit this mark anymore, I am done with it.

I know that right now, I am, and my family is being refined.  It may take 20 years, it may take more, it may take less.  It doesn't matter.  It's for God's glory and I can't wait to see what he does with me and with us.  If what has happened already is any indication, it's going to be amazing.